认识你自己

Recently a friend whom I had not seen in some time answered my greeting with a comical one liner. I asked how he was doing as I hadn’t seen him in a while. 他衷心地回答说:“很好. And it’s just nice to be seen, not viewed.我们都笑了. But there was a hint of truth and self-awareness in his answer. I’ve come to believe that self-awareness in a leader is an essential ingredient in being credible, enlisting followers especially in hard times, and improving one’s leadership capacity.

什么是自我意识? 这在一定程度上是感受别人的感受, understanding your strengths and limitations, 表现得好像你知道. 而是看清自己. The HBR says true self-awareness is a rare quality. Leadership expert John Maxwell suggests a leader’s greatest challenge is leading oneself. 想要一个更好的团队? 一个更好的组织? Then learn to lead yourself better, he advises. Maxwell’s book, “The Self-Aware Leader” is a primer on the topic. I laugh when I think of advice given to me by my mentor many years ago. He advised me to do two things that in retrospect have turned out to be pretty wise. 首先，他建议我读书. 文章、书籍、期刊等.— places where I could get ideas other than my own. His second piece of advice was more pointed. He looked at me, smiled, and said, “hang out with others smarter than you.” He noted that shouldn’t be a problem for me! Above all, he was advising me to become a learner. Below are three pieces to consider in your self-awareness puzzle garnered from Maxwell, 许多其他的, 经验是惨痛的教训.

1. 了解自己的优势

Years ago, I got to be on a panel with Art Linkletter. It was a thrill to meet this legendary entertainer when he arrived at the venue the night before the event. 他已经九十多岁了, he greeted us enthusiastically as he checked into the hotel while we waited. 办事员正在整理, Linkletter turned to three of us and said, “你们都知道生命的秘密吗??” He kept us hanging until he concluded his check in. Then he turned back to us smiling broadly and answered his own question. “Find out what you are good at and run it into the ground." It described perfectly why I’m a believer in Clifton Strengths Finder as an assessment tool to help people figure out what they are good at doing. We ALL have gifts to offer others and it helps to know and grow them. I have another friend who says, “what’s best for child is usually in the child.“我认为这对成年人来说也是如此. Get feedback from others on what your talents are, then develop and apply them in your life. 我认为阿特是对的.

2. 听和听

There is an oft told tale of two hunters out in the woods who separate for a short time. When one returns, he finds his friend on the ground out cold and not appearing to breathe. 惊慌之下，他拨打了911. Yelling at the operator, he says his friend is dead. The operator very calmly asks him to take a deep breath and listen. “首先，我们要确定他已经死了.然后，一阵沉默和一声枪响. The man returns to the line and says, “Okay, now what?” Just as we occasionally confuse activity for accomplishment, we can hear what someone says and not listen. Listening is really hearing what others say even when it’s in conflict with what you want them to do. I remember becoming an Army officer in the late 60’s and early 70’s when college students made well known their views on the Vietnam War. Politicians finally listened to that message and adjusted at a terrible, slow, and unnecessary cost.

3. 看看你自己

There’s an adage that when you curl three fingers to point one finger at someone, you are really pointing three fingers at yourself. When an organization continues to lose good people, self-aware leaders look at themselves. 马克斯·德·普雷, 另一位领导力大师, says “The signs of outstanding leadership appear primarily among followers.”  Self-aware people look at themselves, 当他们犯错误的时候要承认, 从经验中学习, 继续前进. Self-awareness is your friend even when it hurts—a lot. Nobody expects or frankly wants a leader who is perfect (Hint: there aren’t any). 但他们想要一个会学习的人, asks of others nothing they don’t ask of themselves first, 并且知道自己什么时候做不到. 为什么? 因为我们首先是人类. 追随者追随人类领袖.

Self-awareness is an attitude to be embraced, 需要练习的技能, 也是给自己和他人的礼物. It’s not blaming yourself but rather including yourself in assessing paths forward. It’s really listening to the audience and sometimes changing your path. It’s having friends who love you enough to tell you the ugly truth and having the courage to let them.